Sunday, March 15, 2009

What I have and what I ache for...

I'm having disconnect issues.

The thing is that I know that there's a place for me out there somewhere. I know that there are people that get me and I know that somewhere out there there's a place called home where I feel I belong.

It might just be that I'm still getting used to here. I'm not sure why I still feel this way and maybe this is just part of the settling process. I'm still feeling like a fish out of water, but I have nothing to compare it to as I've never moved.

Dunno.

I just feel like I've not found my place yet, haven't found my niche yet. Maybe I haven't found my voice entirely either. I don't know.

Something just doesn't feel right and I'm having a hard time connecting recently. The cold and this feeling that I just can't shake have kept me from posting. I feel a thousand miles away from everyone and I generally feel like I speak a different language.

Every last fiber in my body feels off and I'm trying to get through... I just thought you should know.


It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for

I've got a golden ear
I cut and I spear
And what else is there

Roads and getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have a flashlights nightmares
And sudden explosions

There's no room where I can go and
You've got secrets too

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish


2 comments:

Bee's Dark Side said...

When I moved to Chicago I felt the same way. I left everything I knew and places I loved and I have to be honest with you, it did take a while for me to consider it home. Now? I could not picture myself living any where else.

It's good you'll be going to Europe soon and getting away for a little while. Focus on that for now. :o)

Ceci said...

@ Bee's Dark Side - People are telling me that it takes about 2 years 'til you feel like you're new city is home. Do you think that's true? I mean... I don't know how long adjustment periods take, but that's what they're telling me.

I think Europe will help. I always come back with new ideas and such and a desire to do more, a new little fire burning in my belly.