Reconciling Saints

So! I know you've heard me mention my friends Tim and Ant before. You remember these guys, right?

Well, Epic Aerials is a new series that Tim and Anthony are making for EpicTV. The email I got from Mai lovely friend (hello, luvie!) said that the twins are

"... filming extreme sports and athletes from their unique vantage point, a paramotor. They're soaring in high winds and zipping through tight spaces to get in close when they're make their rounds, visiting old friends and making new ones - always exploring (and pushing) the limits of adventure! 

This is a Climbing episode they just finished filming in the French Riviera where they took an ordinary weekend and turned it into a cannonball weekend of sailing, climbing and paramotoring! (Tim and Anthony are filming this one but will be featured in future episodes)."

Check it out on Epic TV!

I opened up my inbox to find an email from my friend Tim about his and his brother Anthony's latest project.

When it comes to doing what you love, I think these two really embody it. However, it's not without a lot of work and dedication to their art... even if their art is how they have fun anyway. Hey, bonus! All I can think is, "I can't believe my friends get to do stuff like this!" I think that's pretty amazing and noteworthy.

Click here to see the video - Episode 1 of Epic Aerials - Kitesurfing is finally ONLINE

My brother, Anthony and I got the opportunity to shoot 9 episodes for Epic TV. The idea was to capture all of the most extreme sports from a tandem paramotor. Our first project was kitesurfing and since this had never been done before we really didn’t know if it would work.  But we gave it a shot anyways and are very happy with the results. With a tiny 16sq./m paraglider we took off tandem at close to 40mph (60kph)!! Once airborne we could easily keep up with the kitesurfers and truly had an amazing session. 

Timothy Green

Managing Director

To see future episodes you can “Like” Cloudbase Productions on Facebook

As excited as I am about London, Paris and Annecy, I can't help but think about my trip almost exactly a year ago to... well, about the same places (minus Annecy).

This year I won't miss Stephen in Europe (seriously just missed him last year - he flew in just as I was flying out) and Amander might go.

However, there will be people missing. Well, in some cases they might have been missing anyway.

This year there's no Amandazon (not to be confused with the aforementioned Amander). This year there's no Liz nor Kat.

Here's the thing... even if they were going, I would not be having a fun time with them. I mean, it's not like I would snub anyone, but Stephen and Amandazon are now divorced, Liz hates me and Kat has stopped talking to me.

Sad, yes.
...

The thing is, despite trying to prevent some of these things (well, obviously not the Stephen/ Amandazon thing... ok, I DID try), it's... just... odd. Odd, how fast things can change. That's life, though. The big moments happen in a blink of an eye - a good intention gone wrong, a blast of uncontainable anger. Forgiving isn't always an option, apparently. I don't quite understand that, however, my therapist said that I just have to understand that some people have things that are unforgivable to them.

So, to friends lost and, although missed, let go, I dedicate this song in honor of good times had last year.




Perhaps these things happen because I can't control the crazy well enough. Perhaps I am fucked when it comes to relationships. I dunno, I just know that I'm trying and don't think...I think... that I'm any harm to people.

Maybe I'm wrong; I just don't know.

This is the Ceci we all know and love (pictures thanks to JuggleJane):

What I liked about Prague was that, at night (and certain times during the day or parts of the city during the day), it was like being in a fairy tale. The town is old and beautiful... that is, until you get to the main area where all the freakin' tourists are!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not being hoity-toity here, it's just that the tourists are rude and drunk, no matter what nationality! I found it to be a lot like the Las Vegas strip... or the red light district in Amsterdam. Unlike Vegas, these areas mare the beauty of the city, although I'm not sure what it does for their economy. Probably good things, but it might be bad. *shakes head* Sad!

Anyway, here are some highlights in picture form:









So I'm doing better with the diagnosis. Thank you to everyone who wrote me/talked to me about it. I sorter feel... weak for letting it get to me. There's a big part of me that knows what it is and accepted it even before the diagnosis. However, there's a smaller part that was scared of the new information as I never knew quite how many symptoms I had/ how much I thought was just me that was really part of the disorder.

I think that's what freaked me out the most because I couldn't get it to figure out correctly in my head. So this is me, but it's also symptoms... which is what makes me... but it's also being caused by something else... but still me.

See???

I know I'm in there somewhere, it's just figuring out where exactly. I don't want to lose any of the good parts and I'm not exactly sure I want back on the meds. I know that they were necessary when I took them, but I don't believe I'm at that point yet. I think if it impairs my life, my relationships, leaving my house, etc. then I'll know it's time, just like last time. This time, well, this time it's about balancing it out and fighting the episodes. I think I'll talk to my therapist tomorrow about trying non-med methods first, and promise that I'll keep close watch to see if I'll have to try medication.

I do like the lows in that they remind me that I'm alive, that I can feel. Still, I know that when they start becoming a neurosis, start interfering with day to day, etc., it's better to sacrifice that than to build a wall around myself in a fortress that might be my apt. or my room. Not letting anyone in is not letting anyone in, and physically it manifests itself and becomes a real life thing. When that happens, I will know that I'm too scared to live life... and that's not really living, is it?

Thanks to Sir William for talking to me about his friend and what he knew of her experience. It gave me hope. I especially liked his analogy - likening us to an Italian sports car: a beautiful, high-performance vehicle... that needs a lot of time in the shop.

I can be a sports car... I just have to make sure I go in for regular maintenance. Well... and some not so regular maintenance.

Here's to the good time I had in Europe and to my friends, old and new. To you I dedicate this:

Like sisters and brothers we lean on each other
Like sweethearts carved on a headstone
Oh why even bother, it’ll be here tomorrow
It’s not worth it sleeping alone

And look at you and me still here together
There is no one knows you better
And we’ve come such a long long way
Let’s put it off for one more day

And everybody knows where this is heading
Forgive me for forgetting
Our hearts irrevocably combined
Star-crossed souls slow dancing
Retreating and advancing
Across the sky until the end of time
~DeVotchKa~
'Til the End of Time

Every place seems to have their version of the fish bowl drinks. It (FYI they were mojitos) looks good but it's mostly ice...



So we each got our own!





Except for Mlle_Aubergine. :P

and a much beloved/watched clip from the trip:

Our last night! Starring:

The end of the night was something like this:


I was later told that I attempted to go home even though London pointed out that I didn't know where I was going (he's got a new place), to which I replied, "I know that!"

I had to be pushed out of the cab where I had fallen FAST asleep.

Is it any wonder that the three of us want to go back NOW?!
I think NOT!

So we did some touristy stuff... Mainly we went to Notre Dame and the Louvre.