Thursday, March 19, 2009

How it ends

Does anyone ever click on my post titles? Do you guys know that sometimes I post links up there?

Curious...

It's mostly videos or songs that inspire me or the post.

The more I write the more I feel whole. I don't know what it is since sometimes writing also makes me the most insane because I can't seem to wrangle the words at all. Not to, though, is almost a fate worse than death.

Weird.

I'm still working on the novel that I started on for NaNoWriMo because I want to see what happens to them, I want to know what they do... my characters in that story. I remember rereading part of it one night when I was trying to see where I had left off last and thinking, "Oh my god! They're real! I created them... they're real!" Nutty!

The novel has no title yet and I'm not sure what the charcters are doing aside from the fact that they're just doing and they amuse me. That's why I write. *shrugs*

So this whole "lost" feeling is fading. It comes and goes. Mainly I get it when ... well I don't know, I just know that sometimes the door swings the wrong way and I cannot help it. That's when I see the terrible, that when I feel the worst. I always know that the door will swing back the other way, but in that time, it's all about dealing with which way the door has swung this time.

I don't know how to talk about this without sounding like a lunatic... or like I'm 16... which is the same thing really.

I try not to censor myself on my blog because this is supposed to be a space for me to talk about how I feel and what I don't like and what's making me cream my jeans. So I try to make it so that I don't whine (much), I don't talk about feeling horrible or feeling elated too much. Generally I think I sound 16 when writing about any of the aforementioned... so... I suppose I just have the depth of a 16 year old!

Right...

So I'm sorter back... as in I'm back until something shiny distracts me... So, basically I'm back until Wednesday when I'm in London.

5 comments:

"Δημήτριος ο Ταξιδευτής" said...

keep up
you are not lunatic
just yourself
great post
have a good weekend

Chris Wood said...

Ceci, today I dusted off an old manuscript from years ago, that was going to be THE book for me.

Hope it goes well. Best with yours.

Ceci said...

@"Δημήτριος ο Ταξιδευτής" -
Thank you :D
I'll keep posting no matter what, I'm stubborn that way!
Have a good weekend as well!

@Chris Wood - So then you're starting it up again? Or did you look at it and think "yeah... not so much..." ??? I've heard it can go one of 2 ways and that is that you realize that it's rubbish and you throw it in the proper bin OR you edit edit edit... maybe even Wodehouse it and tape the damn thing to your walls in varying heights. Edit or delete? How do you know when it's time to give up the ghost?

Thanks for the well wishes :)

growingupartists said...

Hmm. Ever since I forgave my husband for getting mad at me for wanting to be on time, I can't recall the title of my raunchy thriller. It had the words "pink vibrator" in it, but I cannot recall the subject to him this device was aimed. Unfortunately, the only name that come to mind is Blagojevich. As I write this, I do not know why.

Buffalos...vampires...what was it? Needless to say, your titles rank much higher.

Ceci said...

@growingupartists - it sounds more like an illusive dream than an illusive title! You had me at Pink... although the vibrator helped! ha!