Reconciling Saints

I opened up my inbox to find an email from my friend Tim about his and his brother Anthony's latest project.

Click here to see the video - Episode 1 of Epic Aerials - Kitesurfing is finally ONLINE

My brother, Anthony and I got the opportunity to shoot 9 episodes for Epic TV. The idea was to capture all of the most extreme sports from a tandem paramotor. Our first project was kitesurfing and since this had never been done before we really didn’t know if it would work.  But we gave it a shot anyways and are very happy with the results. With a tiny 16sq./m paraglider we took off tandem at close to 40mph (60kph)!! Once airborne we could easily keep up with the kitesurfers and truly had an amazing session. 

Timothy Green

Managing Director

While I'm trying to calm down about money and the job search, I'm dreaming. Some of it is thanks to Tracy, kind of along the lines in the way I'm thinking.

I'd love to start doing something that didn't just pay the bills, but that I loved, that allowed me to do any number of things that I love or would love; try out things that I didn't even think of.

If I can get the unemployment from Oregon (touch wood), I would have time to look for the right job that would likely allow me to do something I love and pay a good amount or at least that I like and paid a good amount. In the meantime, I would also have the opportunity to technically get paid to write. I would have free time to work on my writing and see if it can lead to anything. I've always wanted to do this, but how can I when I still need an income? With my inexperience, I cannot get paid to do so, or at least pay enough to make a living with.

I would really love to do more of what it is that I dream of, long for, something that would give me the more I want in my life. I'm not looking for fame, but it would be nice to maintain a living doing that which I love. I sometimes feel like anywhere I move to, any step I take in a different direction, can lead to something more, something that allows me to not just exist, but live.

In my opinion, every move should enable one to get closer or try for what makes life remarkable... or at least push what is remarkable about one's life already.

A girl can dream and this girl does.
A lot.

So I'm not the girliest of girls. Often times, I can be found with many a bruise and skinned knees. Also, some times (most times?) I choose sleep in lieu of appearance. The bruises, skinned knees, and lack of motivation in my appearance can get to me.

The feeling never left.

The night before, I started dreaming again... I dreamt of children enslaved in mines, learning how to manipulate elements, elementary school days (and daze), being a cunning child and transforming in accordance to what changed around me by using what I had learned.

Last night I dreamt of friends and college. I spoke with Maile and Amandazon and nearly tackled Stephen from where I was sitting, almost pulling down his pants. I dreamt of the last apartment in college that Leigh and I shared and the parties we had there with everyone in attendance.

Dreaming means that I'm resting. It's like watching TV but seeing the show that my mind puts on when just left to rest.

Me? I'm comfortably in bed watching it. Some scenes I see, some I don't. I flitter in and out of the show, just like I would if I were sick and lying on the couch watching movies. Consciousness to unconsciousness. Floating. Resting.

I'm learning to be me again. I still hate the routine, still hate that there aren't enough hours in the day anymore. I'd still like to sacrifice sleep to do more of what I want to do. I can't. I know I can't because then the manic comes... and after that, the low Low.

I really miss talking to Stephen though. REALLY. I miss the things I loved about life before the meds.