Friday, February 13, 2009

Where does the Good Go?

It's been nutty.

Truly nutty! Mainly for a lot of people around me. Last night a friend asked, "Has everyone lost their fucking minds?!"

You know... maybe???

Nutty.

My vibe of wonder, of anything can happen as long as I just do... is starting to peter out. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just tired. Maybe I'm impatient.

All of a sudden I look at everything and I wonder, how in the hell is all this supposed to happen? Where did all the good go??

Life will do that to you I guess. Especially when you can see a wave of things coming.
For example, the boyo has been worried about the car, my bug. It seems that the clutch is slipping. Well, it doesn't just SEEM that way... it IS slipping. What the actually problem might be, I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I had it replaced last year right around this time before we went to Europe... or maybe it was before Christmas? Anyway... it's only been AT MOST a little over a year. That's gonna be repairs we hadn't counted on.

I'm going to Europe which is in the budget but now is looking a little... frivolous? Difficult? I don't know.

... I keep thinking that if I just do, it will.

I will do with my life what I would like to. The traveling will one day be something that won't tax us.

I will keep writing my silly little stories. I will keep posting my silly little blogs. They're mostly for my friends and bit for me, and that should make me happy for now. Still, I keep thinking of a lyric from James' "Sit Down":
If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor

I wish I didn't know that there was so much more that I want from life. I wish I didn't know that things were possible. No... no I don't.

I wish I could just believe all the time and not have doubt.

I'm trying to keep thinking that I just need to do, and I'm sure you're all with me when I say, right now, that's looking a little difficult.

2 comments:

~:{ ... }:~ said...

Frivolous?
I say!

Think of all those folks on the
Titanic who waved away the dessert cart! We are living.

And if everything falls apart, we'll still be living.

Life doesn't end just because things get tough, my dear. Having opportunities is no reason to feel guilty.

Ceci said...

@~:{ ... }:~ I know I know... and I've renounced this post anyway. I know... hahahahha!