Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Shedding my skin

I'm shedding my old skin. I don't know what made me say this but it's been rolling around in my head for a while now, and it feels true.

First of all, they say that getting sick is your body's way of telling you to STOP! Unfortunately, I did not heed the warnings. I'm a lot better now, but still not at 100%, so I'm trying to take it as easy as possible so that I can enjoy my weekend with Amanda.

AH! It starts. The traveling. The friends from everywhere.

I've always wanted a big family, but not in the sense of relatives. Well, I wasn't going to limit it to that, shall I say. I like the idea of people that I connect with that I get to see from time to time. I like that my friends, my family are without boundaries. No matter where in the world they are, I'm still connected to them. I like that we can gather at odd times in different cities and countries and connect... reconnect... strengthen our connection.

This is family. This is what makes my heart swell when I think of my friends.

Last night I got a phone call from my dear friend, Stephen, and we were on forever, even when I knew that I should be in bed. We talked about everything... he made me cry, he made me wonder, he made me defensive. I love it! Stephen is in Kentucky. We adore each other and each others' spouses and friends. I love this connection.

It's odd, after all this talk about being childfree and all the nonsensical stereotypes that go with it, I start to reconnect with my family. I'll have visitors in March (through Stephen, the Kentucky contingency) and in April from the old Long Beach neighborhood. I'll be in Connecticut this weekend for Amanda and in Europe in March/ April to see Maile, David, Liad, Rain, Ami (I hope), Tim, Anthony, Nassrin and anyone else that I might meet. It's time to appreciate what I do have and what I have created, even if it's not the traditional sense of family.

I leave you with some pics of Stephen and me from my wedding last year. *sigh* I heart that boy, he always reminds me of who I am.

First morning in PDX. The Governor Hotel. I'm pretty sure we'd been drinking lots already.

The rehearsal dinner. Can you feel the love? I'd also like to mention that people came from all over. That was pretty awesome too. My parents thought no one would go.

Stephen was my handler before the wedding. I was a wreck and had been drinking for 3 days. I was nervous about all those people watching! It shows! The makeup artist had to earn her keep.

6 comments:

Chris Wood said...

I don't know many people who were sober in the days before getting married. I gather it's a BAD idea ...

Ceci said...

@Chris Wood - The drinking is a bad idea or marriage is a bad idea? The drinking is ALWAYS a good idea, so you would be wrong on that score.

As for marriage, I would say, in general, it's a bad idea. I've done it once before and here I am trying it again. Perhaps it's a Pavlovian response? I would recommend trying it, but then I'd have to ALSO recommend that you know when to call it quits if it's not working. It's MUCH sexier to have a significant other (boyfriend/girlfriend) instead of SPOUSE... just ask Goldie Hawn... urm... wait...

That said, I'll try anything once! ... except for the few things that I'd try more than once... yeah.

Bee said...

I envy the fact that you have stayed connected to your friends. Mine all had kids so we kind of parted ways because we were in separate places. Now it's hard to re-connect.
Not impossible but so much time has gone by.

Glad you're feeling better!

Ceci said...

@Bee - Well the friends I made in college are the ones that became family. I think it's because we all did a lot of growing up? fucking up? at the time and it really kept us together. The core of us have stayed friends, which IS amazing if you ask me. From there grew another circle and I still keep in touch with them. Maybe it's because we were kids for so long, and in some cases still are, that it's only now in our early to mid thirties that people are starting to have kids, so I never really lost any of them to that. If anything, the ones with kids were trying to keep up with us!

Stephen's an odd case as we actually WENT to the same high school but we weren't friends. We had friends in common and he rightfully owns up to being a total DICK in HS, so there was also that. Oddly we became reacquainted when one of my friends through college brought him into our circle (he was her ex boyfriend from her HS days and now they're the best of friends). Go fig!
I think I'm just lucky *nods *

camikaos said...

my family is much richer for the people I've found in my life... it's always good to see someone else who appreciates that.

Ceci said...

@camikaos - as a friend of mine used to say, amen sistah friend! I don't know where I got the idea from but I've always had this idea of family being so much more than my relatives. I've always pictured reunions and holidays in far away places, in homes or flats filled with people who have come a long way. They are the people that I meet in my life who touch it and spark it. Meeting people that make my world a brighter place is my choice of drug. I just hope (and try to!) I can do the same for them.