Sunday, June 1, 2008

I'm itching to post my story on here... but for once in my life... I'm actually thinking about whether or not it's a smart idea. I've never minded airing my problems, my joys, my faults to anyone, but given the gravity of the situation, I wonder ... this time... if it will bite me in the ass.

I've typed and deleted about 3 different versions of this post... and I still can't decide.

It hurt me... no... wait... I think that that's the wrong way to express it. It didn't so much as hurt me as wound me. However, it's a scar that I will keep forever... and that... I will poke from time to time so that I can remember. More like a battle wound... less like someone wronged me.

Does that make sense?

Did it hurt... or rather, was I hurt?? Yes, yes I was. I tripped and had to figure out where I was again and what I was going to do about it.

Did it hurt me? No. No, it didn't.

It freed me.

I think I learned a lot from this fiasco... a lot about life, a lot about myself and my strength, and a lot about who my friends are, who my loved ones are.

I learned that life is beautiful in it's simplicity, and that it's still beautiful when one thinks that it can't get any worse... In fact, I might argue that it is then that it's at it's most beautiful, because... it's only when things are bad that one misses all the things one took for granted and sees truly who the people around one are. It's nice to say that I survived with a good chunk of my friends who didn't judge me, didn't leave me. Those who did... well... it didn't exactly hurt me that they turned so quickly, that they were some of the first to start the rumors. It does make me sad in that I had a higher opinion of these people... these people who, for me, represented the rest of the world. I've always been a cheerleader for mankind... and I must say that, on the whole they'll turn their backs on you. However, I can say that it does say something about the company I keep, and that is that I have some pretty rad friends.... but if you can't tell from this picture:

then I don't know how else to illustrate it for you.

I know, I've already posted that picture... but I love it so...
I've got some great GREAT friends...
and I love them all so dearly.
(if you don't know the story, and want to, you can email me and I can give you the rundown... I'm just not sure about posting it for just anyone to see, dig?)