Reconciling Saints

It rained here, today, in Portland. I finally got the weather I was wishing for after a weekend of 90 to 100+ degrees F weather. I felt like I was in California, and therefore, perhaps, that's why I didn't feel like I had really moved.

Today was movie night and, as always, it was interesting. The movies tonight were "Moonlight Whisper" or so it was called in the American title. It's a Japanese movie about a boy who likes the pain and the girl who likes to cause it. We only made it about... 3/4? 1/2? way through the movie and then it geeked out on us. This is not important, though, nor is the fact that we then put on The Signal... interesting and a lot more ... well thought out? ... than I would have given a horror movie to be. Funny at times, and at others, funny 'cause... well movie night turns into a night on the Satellite of Love .

Yes, my point...

So the friends around, my friends, friends of friends... they remind me of family. It's much like familiy in that your kid brother is making stupid remarks and your older sister is being Trés Whit-é. Still ... zany mad-cap fun ensues.

Tonight as I was taking out the trash (for a lot accumulates on movie night... plus tomorrow is trash day and I'd rather do this now then as a zombie in the morning) I could smell the wet in the air... a very... unfamiliar smell to me, one who has never lived anywhere else than So Cal. It made me realize... I'm somewhere else! I moved and I'm trying to do what my heart said to do next... which was a)move and b) move to someplace with a different (colder) climate.

I wonder, then, why this all feels so familiar.

I think I trust easily... and gain friends easily as well. As was pointed out by a dear friend a few nights ago, some of the things I post are ... well, quite private, and I unabashedly post them for all the world to see and then I write CECI in big red crayon over it for all the world to know that I SAID IT! It's not that there are not reasons to mistrust the internet... and yeah, the people around me probably don't want their shit as public as I post mine, yet, I can't help but put myself out there. For me, it's no different here than it is if I were to meet you in person.

...

Ok so some does come from the idea that I know most (98%???) of the people that read this little blog of mine. The other part is that... well, for me the internet has always been a way of making friends and reaching out to people and just... well... being out there! I started going to chat rooms in '97 and I made a nice little network of friends, that I still keep in touch with in some form or other. It works for me.

I send out a signal and I get a resonating *ping* back.

For me, I feel like I can catch someone else's signal just as easily because I'm receptive to it, and therefore everything ends up being very familiar to me. This is the way I operate, this is the way I feel and, most importantly to me, this is the way I experience life. I like it. I have faith in it.

Of course, maybe I also have so much faith in it 'cause I know I can be such a Bitch if you so much as step out of bounds. I do it to my friends and I do to non-friends.

I'm just me.

Get the signal?