Sunday, August 3, 2008

Stuff I learned

Saturday I was going to put up an "away message" since I spent the whole day reading Breaking Dawn. I bought it at 1pm, got it home by 2pm and did not put it down until 2am.
That's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm still trying to learn how to balance everything in this chaotic atmosphere. It's only chaotic in that things change from day to day and I'm still getting used to all of this new. I keep trying to post more, but things like house hunting, meeting new people, seeing my new city, spending TIME with my husband (who also gets lost in all this) and all sorts of other things.

Today I realized that I thoroughly miss this. I miss the time I would just sit here and write. It's addicting, it's meditative, it feeds something in me that I;ve found out I just need to do, and that is to write.

It's funny how the things one loves in life are the hardest things. I love music... it's not VERY hard to listen to it... but it's very hard to create and it's hard to keep up with. I like books and keeping up with the pile of books I seem to always have to read is incredible. I love it, don't get me wrong, but it's not easy. Keeping Da5id in my life from day one was difficult! I had to fight for a feeling I had that I new I was right despite the fact that I hurt someone in the process, despite the fact that I never thought I'd re-neg on my word. Living how I'd like to live is very tough indeed. It requires a lot of mental push. I have no other way to describe it than that. It has nothing to do with money or ability, it has just to do with pushing myself to do that which I think is right and that which I want. Easier said than done!

I demand a lot out of my life. I demand to that I live, I demand that I feel, and I demand that I be exactly who I am. Wow that sounds like it should be pretty freakin' easy, doesn't it? It's not. Why? Because I want more. I don't want just some job... and if I have just some job I better damn well believe in the people and the job. Let me put it to you this way: from this perspective, there are a lot of jobs that I was hoping to get that I know am so glad I didn't. However, the money thing still comes and hits me in the head about this one, where my heart says, umm... NO! Why would I whore myself out like that?

...

Hahahahaa!

The point!
The point is that we all have to remind ourselves that we have dreams and we should be reaching them. If you feel someone could love you better, then that's what you should go after, no matter how hard. If you feel like you need a different job, you should be looking for that too. If you feel like you can be a writer, then for GOD' S SAKE write already!

3 comments:

Bee said...

I was on my way to Borders to buy Breaking Dawn when I got on e-mail on my phone that my order had shipped. I preordered it months ago so I had to wait for it to get here! It got here Monday but now I have to wait for the weekend to read it. :o(

Bringing Up Ben said...

"It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer."
- E. B. White

That's you in a nutshell, sweets!

Ceci said...

Bee - let me know when you're finished 'cause I'm not saying ONE WORD until the people I know have read it.
MAN!
*seals lips *

Liz - thank you for the quote!!! These days you serve as nothing short of what I want to be/ strive to be everyday.
I love you