Reconciling Saints

Have you ever heard of those women that get PMS so bad, that they have a note from their doctor that basically states that they are not responsible for their words or actions? Or maybe even a note that allows them to stay home around that time? I had a friend tell me something like this once. Not that she had it, but that she knew a girl with this problem. I found it hard to believe but then again, I've always been told that the body, a woman's body especially, can do some really weird shit.

Up until about 2 years ago, I was on birth control pills. I had taken them for 15 years or so. I rarely got a period, had it last about 2 days if I did get one, didn't have any cramps and got only a little emotional before it came on.

Well, I can tell you that things SURE have changed since then. Aside from the obvious (lasts longer and OUCH the cramps!), my PMS symptoms have, as of late, made me wonder if I need a doctor's note. I even have a really good example right here on my blog!

Everyone turn to the post The Nightmare Book, dated June 27th in your hymnal.

Anyway, that post was on a Mean Reds day when the best thing to do with me is take me to a bar and drag me home when I'm nice and drunk. Like... d-RUNK! On days like that, I can't see my way out of anything. I've fallen into a deep pit and it's very dark and very deep. I was up 'til 2am on June 27th 'cause 1994 had called and brought Tori Amos CDs with it. Yeah, that bad.

The next day, my period hit and I thought, "OH! Well that explains it all!"


I talked to my psychiatrist because she wants me to keep her informed on my moods The usual litany of questions have to be answered - have you been depressed? How depressed? How long does it last? Have you been sleeping? What's enough? Do you want to sleep? So last time I went, I told her about the Mean Reds that I finally figured out was my version of PMS. She gave me a prescription for my old anti-depressant, celexa.

Yes ladies and gents, I now actually believe that that girl that I'd heard stories about, the one that turns into Mr. Hyde right before her period, really can and does exist. Also, she might be me.

I know it's not exactly 28 days later... huh... wait... Do you think that that's why they titled the movie that? I mean, blood, everyone's scared, monsters... Seems like this idea might not be too far fetched.

MOVING ON!

I'm trying to be more observant of the days and of any tells that I may have and I'm pretty sure... despite that it's 4 or so days short of 28... I'm pretty sure I'm right about there. Existential crisis? Check! Can't find anything to do with my life? Check! Working on my writing proving useless? Check! Missing my friends and thinking they're better off without me and better than me? Check!

However, now that I'm armed with a little more info and I know the tells (see post, June 27th), I think I'm ready to take it head on.

I have wine, dark chocolate m & m's, Belgian chocolate pudding and lots of yummy snacks. I also have House, a few books if none of them are doing it for me/ making matters worse and a bath.

I'll let you know how it goes.