Friday, April 25, 2008

Lights in the Attic

I've a new idea for a tattoo.
I want 3 boxes, rectangular boxes, the first containing an 'X'

The way I see it... I have one major strike against me. If I get to 3... I'm in HUGE trouble.
I don't think I'll get to three... but I would like a reminder.

I'll have to talk to Stephen about this...

You know, I was watching Northern Exposure tonight. I used to love this show... LOVED loved loved it! It was medicine for my soul. If ever there was anything wrong, this could cure it, this provided... somehow... some sort of answer. I don't know if it was just the quirky writing, or that they were doing something different, but it always left me... better.

My Strike has me in a weird world and I'm re-evaluating everything. I want to change everything - how I look, how I dress, how I do things, how I see things, how I live. This has my mind working at all times of the day and night to the point where I don't really get much sleep. I feel like there's always something I'm analyzing, something I'm always taking a step back to look at and wonder... is that what I wanted?

So I almost changed it 'cause it was one of the later episodes. In fact, it's the one where they finally tell Joel that he's free to go and that they have a check for him. Still, I watched to see if I remembered it... and I sorter did... but that's not the point. In the end, Joel gets all his stuff back that Maggie had saved for him and he says that he made a list of his favorite things, and he burned them.
Brilliant! Or... at least for me it is...
It would be truly freeing to not have anything attached to me. That is to say, it would be oh so nice to not have anything weighing me down, nothing that I cared about but Da5id, my friends, my family and ... life. I don't think I could do it 'cause there are things like books and CDs and LPs that I don't think I can live without. That's more of a muse thing, though and less of a material thing. It's how those artists make money and earn a living and it's what feeds my brain. So I don't think I could burn those. I'd also have a huge problem with burning my dolls and such since they've always been real to me. You can blame the velveteen rabbit for that one...

Still, the meaning behind what the burning means... it hits home. I don't care about money, or what I have, or the right job, I just want to be happy and remember the most important things to me.

If I had to make a list of what's important to me, it might look something like this:
my friends/ family (some are one in the same)
my writing
the world
art (spoken, writen, sung, played or viewed)

I mean, I know it's important to be able to live... and it's not like I'm going to shun money, but I don't think it's important like I used to. I think that it's a distraction if anything. In fact, that's a big factor in why I left my job. I didn't want to be tied to it because it paid well if it made me unhappy, and I didn't really need all that much to be happy anyway.

Maybe I'll start an imaginary bonfire and "burn" all those things I don't need...