Wednesday, May 28, 2014


At a show this past Saturday there was this guy who kept walking by me and looking back at me when he'd pass by... you know?? Like, maybe checking me out. I ignored him.

At one point he sorter bumped into me and I my first thought was that it was likely accidental, and he turned around as if to say sorry (in my mind), so I smiled as if to say, "no harm no foul." Instead, though, he just kind of stared.

Then, with the boyo standing next to me, the second time he passed by, he put his cold glass or a beer can on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting it to be someone I knew, but it was that creepy guy again! So I wiped off the condensation from my shoulder, and made a face, but he'd already walked away. I had to wonder if he was trying to be cheeky, or if it was a rude way to get someone to move. However, when I looked around, I noticed that there was a lot of space around me. This time Stephen looked at me and asked what had happened. I told him and he looked to see where the guy had gone, but we couldn't see him. He mentioned something later on about how he had considered going after the guy for that, and I was a little happy he didn't. He was likely weighing his chances on whether or not it was worth it, and if it's even worth getting kicked out for.

So the third and final time, Stephen had run to the bathroom and our friend Neely had scooted up to the front, and Anya, Neely's friend was standing to one side of me. This guy comes up behind me, grabs the fabric on my shirt, and lifts it to my shoulders. Then he says something akin to, "how about some modesty." This is about the time when I freeze slightly from the shock of someone I don't know doing this. Until I heard that unfamiliar voice, I had just assumed it was Anya or Stephen. The guy just walked past me, looking back as he went like he's caught me doing something wrong... or... hell, I can't even explain the look.

Here's what I was wearing:

He wasn't smiling.. just had this weird look on his face. Again, I thought maybe he thought he was cheeky or flirting, but there was no smile and he was just weird! Looking at me in this way that seemed to be... angry? Blaming? Thankfully that was at the end of the last band's set, and I stuck by Stephen once he got back from the toilet, then we headed to the car. I didn't tell Stephen until we were driving away because I didn't want him to go after the guy and most likely get into trouble for fighting at a bar.

I'm still weirded out by this guy in retelling the story. I keep wondering if there was something that I should have done or said to let the guy know that he was acting completely inappropriate. 


Unknown said...

Nope, you did nothing wrong. Thanks, rape culture.

Ceci Virtue said...

@Amanda Guerra - So you don't think I should have said something that might clue the guy in more as to how NOT okay he was behaving? I feel like I should have really hit him with a message (hopefully verbal) of don't do that!

Unknown said...

You could have done. But given his behavior he'd have likely gotten huffy and called you a derogatory term.