Sunday, July 8, 2012
Hi kids.
Today I'm thinking about all the things that one should do and all the things one seemingly has to do.
I have obligation problems. I feel that there are things in life that I should be doing like... working, chores, calling my mother, etc. These are not exactly what I should be doing, if you ask me.
Sure, these are things that I am sorter supposed to do, but they're not the things I should be doing.
... and by should, I mean doing the things that you should do for yourself. You know, things that make you happy, things that you dream about, things that... oh, I don't know... will lead you to achieve, in some small sense, that which you want to accomplish.
I don't know where I'm going with this except to try to reiterate that which I keep trying to tell myself, and that is that there are things I should be doing.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
When I lived with my friends in the days before anyone got married or moved away (or both), we had an Alfred Hitchcock standee that was just a silhouette, much like the one at the beginning of every Alfred Hitchcock Presents. It was about about... 5'2" tall, give or take a few inches and it looked quite life-like.
Whenever my best friend or I got home and opened the door, it invariably scared the shit out of us before we turned on the light. It looked just like there was a man standing in our kitchen what with the faint light coming from the hallway through the door at one of the apartments we'd had. Some of the spots we'd place him in other apartments or houses didn't always get this reaction. However, no matter when or where, there was always some point that good old Alfred would end up giving one of us a scare.
At one place, our landlord/upstairs neighbor's wife, Charmagne, told us a story upon meeting Alfred, our standee.
"He was a horrible man with a sick sense of humor," Charmagne said as soon as she saw him.
"Did you know him?"
"I was on the lot and he drove toward us in his car. He stopped, looked at me and then sped up heading right for me! I ran and yelled and he just slowed down and continued on his way past me, laughing!"
I don't know if he ever had really known or met Charmagne, or if he had only seen her and decided how he felt. Maybe it was just a test of his. Dunno. Personally, I thought it was funny and that Alfred Hitchcock must have been quite a man to know. Knowing Charmagne in the limited way that I did, I think his actions may have been called for, even if just for a good chuckle. He sounded like a great guy, in my opinion.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The Nightmare Book is a journal I have where I write down the negative thoughts in my head. I try not to spew them out into the ether, but today, I'm going to use this to put up the emotions I feel some times... the ones who are special guests at the Pity Party.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I've taken a step back to look at things. Sometimes, they say, we need to do that... sometimes I feel more productive that way. I'm focusing on things that help me more, like the food that my body really craves, or more amount of movement. The last 3 nights I've either attempted to write or have written in some way shape or form. Maybe it's not very much, but it's something - it's a beginning.
I'm learning to like the quiet, the voice in it that speaks to me. Actually, I do like the quiet; that's really weird for me.
It's spring and something's changing... or everything's changing.
I'm not quite sure yet.
I'm trying new things and trying good things. I hope it pans out.
Also, art!
I'm finding inspiration through art. Mostly that which people just like me make and some from the things I've talked to Tracy about. Of course, there is also inspiration from professional pieces - photos, paintings, drawings, writing. I could get lost in it, save for the fact that it makes me lose focus and spins me out of me, making what I want to do seem elusive and otherworldly. Get me? The more I look at professional art, things by people who make money doing just that, the more it seems like it's something they do, something that I can't because, well... it's not part of my world. The thing I have to remember is that, well, it is part of my world! I can put it there.
I like art. It makes life beautiful and more fulfilling, I think. I need more of it in my world. So I figured, hell! I'll just make it 'cause... I can.
;;
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