Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I still have issues with what's good and what's not... mostly because I don't believe these are solid black and whites. There are a lot of things I would do that most people wouldn't consider good, but I think as long as I'm being true to myself and take into account what might hurt the ones I love, it's ok. The boyo and I have never been better.

Last night I confessed more of how I work to the boyo. The embarrassing and hard to confess parts. He said he mostly already knew/ guessed at what I was "supposedly confessing," but I was still trying to get him to realize the extent of it. I was trying to convey the fact that I really have no scruples when it comes to certain things that affect myself and my loved ones. I like knowing that we are learning more and more about each other especially as we change. It's an ongoing and constant communication and I think it's awesome.

As the boyo put it, what an odd and wonderful life we live!

For a while there we were debating Cedric and M's invitation to move into their house (they have 2 unused rooms). Mainly it was the debate of to give up our own space or not to. It's not like we hadn't done the living with a few friends in one house thing before, so it wasn't a huge issue. We have discovered, though, that we really do like the dynamics of living with friends. Granted, you have to believe that the way of living of all involved fits well in order to do so, and that is precisely why we thought that.... this....just...might....WORK!

We're very excited to have a house to share again, especially Cedric and M's. I've always felt very at home there and I do like their taste in decor and... well, a lot of things. I think our dynamics are similar and there's a lot of mutual love and respect between the 4 of us. This makes me VERY excited. Well, that and the fact that I think we all have something to bring to the table when it comes to existing... no... being part of each others' lives.

So I'm optimistic about the future, completely comfortable in my own skin and I think I'm back to a very Ceci... Ceci. Heh.

Speaking of comfortable in my own skin, I'm about 10 lbs away from my fighting weight. I'm not one to be obsessed with being thin, however, I gained 20 - 25 pounds when I moved here and I've not been comfortable in that weight. It just didn't feel like me. My clothes are fitting again which means I have more of a wardrobe these days and I can now walk around naked in my apartment and feel like it's all just me; it's comfortable.

I am, however, still scared of the internets. I'm working on it...