Thursday, January 17, 2008

Day five of marriage...

it's weird because ... well... i'm married again...

the one who swore she would never ever ever be so closely tied to someone again


and here i am

and i think i'm very happy with this change of events

so...darling stephen decided that as a wedding gift, if we wanted to of course, he would bring out his tattoo stuff and give us whatever we wanted. He asked that we try to keep it to minimal colors but if we wanted more he'd do it. Da5id and I understood how difficult this could prove for Stephen with security and also how expensive it could be if he lost any of it or if he brought too much ink and they exploded.

So Da5id and I thought about it long and hard and we figured we'd get something that meant something to each of us, and since Stephen was being so kind, that we'd make sure it wasn't difficult and that it only consisted of a few colors... our favorite ones... black.. and blue


We wanted some thing that would commemorate the event without any specifics... something that would mean something to us.
I came up with mine first. I knew I wanted it to be something that had to do with my writing... at first I thought a typewriter key.. the #5 one... but that later turned into an ink bottle... for missing link ink. I wanted the label to have on it #5, for Da5id... because he is my ink... he is the one that helps fuel me and encourages me and stands by me. What that has to do with a wedding is everything... because he is the one that I'll be with ... he's the one that was right for me..that gave me all that I needed, even when I didn't know it.

London thought it would be funny if da5id got a quill ... very sexual... we giggled.
He likes to stick his quill in my inkwell. How fourth grade are we?!
When I told Da5id, he actually liked it... not just the... silliness London and I came up with, but he also liked that it made it... part of me... he enables me to do the things I love... so fittingly... and with a comment or 2 from Neely, Stephen and Da5id decided that the quill would go right through his lifeline, his EKG tattoo, and have some blue ink on it.

For me... for me, these also symbolize more than just a new beginning because now we're married, but also a new beginning because we're going to do all those things we said we'd do, and this is our year to do it.

This year is scary for me. Everything will be new, starting with this marriage.
In a few months we're stepping off the ledge and moving... where is not exactly known yet, but I'm quitting Trader Joe's and seeing where I go next. Da5id is trying to get into a school, which may or may not happen for the fall term... so hard to get into nursing school, who knew? Both of us are leaving a life where we are comfortable, if not fully satisfied, and have our friends, our family, around us. Kinda scary.

We decided to exchange our gifts, his gift to me and my gift to him, at the rehearsal dinner. Yes, we do like an audience. I'd been planning this for a long time and apparently Da5id only got the idea that week... but it's funny how similar they both were.

I asked Stephen for help on this a long time ago, and I had him pick out a great guitar for Da5id. I struggled with this a little because he also needs an aerostitch suit for the rain... but I didn't like the idea of giving him the gift of something practical, something he needed in the everyday. I thought that that was not what this marriage was about. I KNEW he wouldn't want me to get him a guitar, something he sold 3 years ago because it was the adult thing to do and how can one play a guitar in a studio apt? I begged him not to but he did. So, I decided I'd give him a new one... so that he couldn't refuse ... and to explain that I wanted him to keep on doing those things that people tell us that it's not practical for us to do. I wanted to enable him to do those things that he loves, even if it's not something that he NEEDS; although if you ask me, he NEEDS to play...just as I NEED to write because ... I just do.

What did he give me? He gave me a pen.
Now, anyone who knows me knows I ADORE pens... I've very very picky about my pens...and I promised myself that one day I would buy myself a VERY fancy, very expensive, fountain pen... and no, not the kind that needs a cartridge, 'cause that's cheating at scrabble, but the kind that you need to draw the ink from the ink bottle into. He said he wanted me to write, and he thought I needed the right kind of pen to do so with.

Funny, but I see these gifts and the meaning of the tattoos as new beginnings. This year, I step off the ledge because I will not let money be what stops me from doing what I want to do. What good is it if I'm usually too tired to do it? or to even spend time with Da5id? Not important; I'll find a way. I'm going to write more... and find inspiration in the new place we move to. I WILL throw myself into my passion...and I will look for a job that allows me to do so... and pays the bills...hehehe

For Da5id, I see him wanting to do more than just what we do now. Maybe he joins a band? Maybe he just fiddles on the guitar at home? I think it would be a good springboard for him to try to find other such things to do that will bring him great pleasure and passion.

That... ladies and gents... is my wish for this year... and what I foresee happening.


leigh said...

I am so happy for you two, and I can't wait to see where the next adventure takes you!! Love the ink...and the sweet meaning and silliness of it all, you two are so freakin cute!

Liz said...

Love the tats. Are you going to keep posting about married life??