Reconciling Saints

OK

so it seems that many of you can't go to my wedding... and i'm feeling a little down about that

here's the thing... i'm not down that you can't make it...
i'm down that i had to make it so freakin' far away!

i feel like i was being selfish...

who the hell has a wedding in a place where 90% of their guest list don't live there????

and how in the hell do you except people to go there???

it seems more often that not, we're getting regrets in the mail.

this makes me sorter sad in that... i feel like i have failed the people that would have come otherwise....

please... i'm so sorry

so

...

it's been about a month since I wrote something on here... maybe a little less... but there abouts

according to our little countdown... there are 24 days until

....


!!!!!

seriously... i don't know how my head is NOT going to explode before the end of the month.
if i survive... i'll drink myself into a stupor in portland.
...
ha!

things going through my mind right now:
- what if my dress doesn't fit anymore? I'm having nightmares of the dress not zipping and me popping seams ... and just looking like ... a big ole sausage
... this one is very prominently on my mind
so much so that it's the only picture i had in my mind as i battled my way through one of the toughest spin classes i've had... i even had a small puddle of sweat under me.
- how many things have i forgotten and is it too late to do anything about them? is anything really done?
- when the hell am i going to get christmas shopping done!? mind you it's just for the immediate family... 'cause we have soooooo much else to pay for
- really... will i fit in my dress???

....

i forgot the rest....

*slaps hand to head*

help!