Reconciling Saints

I'm working on the novel although not very well.

I feel like I need the cheerleader now! I can't do it all on my own all the time! Sometimes my hold on ...well... on my dreams, teeters. The thing is, I'm trying to not keep a hold on reality. I'm trying very hard to remember that my world is my own and I can change the color of the sky in it. I feel that only by remembering that I can rearrange the atoms that make up solid matter can I get through that wall. Just like David Knight and Martha Valiant.

For those of you that question the sanity of this... think about it.

Why can't you change your reality? Isn't that what life is about? What we do with our lives and how we shape the world around us? It's all just a matter of knowing HOW to tweak it.

I'm stronger than I think I am most times... so are you.

There are a lot of people around me right now that I've been cheering for and I don't know that they're listening and I'm running out of pep! I'm about ready to smack you guys. Just... listen to me for a minute, ok?

Miracles (for lack of a better word) happen. I can make things happen and so can you. I married the boyo I wanted... it worked and even through the tough times ...it's working. It was no easy feat, this. There was a time when it seemed impossible that we'd be together. Honestly. We had to cheat death to do it. Work? Well, here I am aren't I? Working for a company that finally wants to utilize all I've learned AND I'm writing a freakin' novel... even if it is just to prove that I can do it. I'm here. I'm alive. I've escaped some bad situations and I have the scars to prove it.

I don't know how else to prove it to you people! Especially to those who have been through some of these things with me and have seen that I... we... prevailed. You can change anything... most especially your life.

I believe in you. Just... trust me.